the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
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Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
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If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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