I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
