I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
40s are totally the cure
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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