Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
