Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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