I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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