hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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