Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
