my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
pray to the hookup gods
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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