Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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