is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
