After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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