ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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