There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
