my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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