Please, let me fuck your mom
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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