Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize