if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
