I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
