Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize