We should be called the Road Head Warriors
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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