dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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