oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
