You're my little dorito
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize