The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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