she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize