he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
