My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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