i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
