We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.