all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.