I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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