fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dicks are not precious.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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