it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
