Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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