I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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