I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
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this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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