This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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