I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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