it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
