he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
third nipple confirmed
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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