Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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