spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
