Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
