we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
