so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
