One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
