I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
