remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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