did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
