I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
