I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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