I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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