omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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