AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize