That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
