yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
