apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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