Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
