i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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